Entering the Room of the Heart
Connecting to our hearts and learning to see the ways we protect ourselves from the experience of love is a journey that takes presence and time.
When we first connect with someone we let them rush in and enjoy the ways they make us feel. The first stage of the journey inward as we have been looking for that person to connect and help us to feel safe and seen. Over time we start to negotiate with the experience and ourselves by placing limitations and demands on the way we connect and how we want to feel. The feelings of losing ourselves to another in the name of love becomes a portal to within; for many, this point is the disconnection phase making judgements and offerings of self-protection and connecting from the mental mind. The experience of the mind occurs when we shift our nervous system - the partner becomes a threat and we step out of the heart center. This moment is the choice point for the journey into love - do you explore or remove yourself from the experience.
The next phase into love is where feelings become more intense as walls are being dismantled and light finally shines into the deeper parts that have not been seen and cared for in a very long time. Much like an abandoned home sheets covering the furniture and the ghosts of a past life lingers throughout.
The visitor of fear lingers and conjures spell work that rattles our mind and clouds our vision. We become entranced by the abandoned parts and seek to keep these spaces hidden. Better to stay with the known than to venture out into the unknown places as they may bring pain.
Negotiations begin that take form as blaming, judging and criticizing the connection and questioning the love that is being offered.
We shut down and freeze or run. This is our nervous system response to protect.
We lose our ability to dream with and inspire and care for - we don’t want to see our reflection any longer.
We become distracted and disconnected.
We look to release pressure, move away and seek for new and the next better opportunity that must be out there. The better, easier and prettier person. Love will be present in another and it will be less challenging and painful.
We seek outwards once again for the solution and the cure to our deepest pains. If only they would understand. If only they would be just like me so it would be easier.
When all along the journey of love was there welcoming you to trust. Reminding you gently to let go of the old version that you came into this place with so you may renew and rebirth yourself and bathe in the light of love - the force of all that is.
Love will not negotiate with you. Love is offered with purity and it does not change for you. You need to change for love. To let love in your life takes a choice to love yourself and to become the vessel in which love is flowing and offered to another to share. If you are not a vessel you cannot drink and share from its source.
For many, love will create more shadow and they will try many ways to falsly connect with it. New people, disconnecting further with different sexual partners and eventually when love cannot be wielded and used the decision is to walk away. Refusing to become the vessel for love through changing inwardly creates more damaging and lifeless experiences. Deeper disconnection and the very light of people that sparked connection quickly becomes a feeding frenzy to just feel anything - offering empty flesh and deeper internal despair fueling addictions and the mind has resonance and power in this realm. The idea of love will be extinguished.
Love is the light that we decide to let in to those dark places that we freeze in time. Love is the opening of the drapes and removing the layers of stagnancy and hopelessness.
Love is the escorting the visitor fear to the door after its long visit.
To love someone means that we will go to those places that challenge us. We will be shown the abandoned areas of our internal home that is waiting to be renewed and used once again.
To love someone will mean that we will find and love ourselves. It is in this choice that we become free or we entomb ourselves in those old rooms.
Not all love is the same. If you find the one that leads you to this inner space - sit with them for a while. You might find that they too are visiting their inner rooms and together you can coexist and truly come into loving yourself through the vulnerability of the exploration of love.
You create love. It is not something you attain or search out. It is always within you asking you to unlock the door. Become the vessel.
